Ho Ho Ho or Ow Ow Ow the Christmas Slipper Saga

December 25th 2017

Gratuitous Nutmeg picture

            I'm a simple man. And I'm not talking about my mind. Though arguments to the contrary have been made. What I mean is I don't want much. Especially not things. Our house, like our lives is absolutely full. We all know that the most valuable things in life aren't things at all. Well, not material things anyway. The truly valuable things are more etheral. They can't be bought or sold they can only be given. A smile on a childs face as they play with the box the toy came in, the touch of a hand with someone you love that sends shivers through your very being. The warmth of the Yule Log on channel 9.  These things can't be bought, except the Yule Log on channel 9, $100 a month for TV! Bastards!

Grandkids opening gifts

     The Great Christmas Slipper Saga

      Like I said, I'm not into the commercial or religous aspects of Christmas. I'm not a Christian, and it's not my birthday it's probably not even Jesus's birthday so the gifting thing never made sense to me. The lovely Lisa and I have made our gift to each other our next trip for the last 16 years. The first year I bought her jewlery and perfume and clothes. None of which she used or wore except for the engagement ring. Ergo the trip thing. I have discouraged everyone from giving me gifts of things I neither want or need for many years. Except for this one time 10 years ago.

      Back to the slipper thing. Ten years ago just before Christmas I blew out a slipper! The sole of the left slipper had come apart at the toe and was flapping when I walked like a pelican eating fish. So I broke down and asked the lovely Lisa for a new pair of slippers for Christmas, Didn't happen. No slippers. I was stunned! Oh Santa why have thou forsaken me?

      I sucked it up. I put a smile on my face realising that you reap what you sow. That was until our 20 or so dinner guests arrived at which point I pontificated on the lack of Christmas slippers to one and all. Including a toast to the missing slippers at dinner. But wait! Just like late night info mercials it gets better!

      The next morning the lovely Lisa has a big box of things that needed to go down stairs in the basement. As I started down the stairs my defective sole flapping slipper that I was still wearing because Santa Lisa stiffed me, caught on the lip of the second stair and I tumbled down the remaining stairs to land in a crumpled heap at the bottom. As I pulled my self off the floor, left shoulder throbbing, I heard the lovely Lisa running to the top of the stairs. As I looked up at her face etched with concern she said "You better not have broken any of that!"

      Three weeks later on my birthday I got 23 pairs of slippers. One pair was home made out of panty liners they were kind of flimsy but you should have seen them suck up a spill! Since then I get a pair of slippers every year. Watch out for my Super Slipper Garage sale later in 2018.

      Since then I have been blessed with incredible amounts of love and friendship. The true value of Christmas. We are expecting around 30 for Christmas dinner. Chef Boy R Lisa  has been prepping and preparing for 3 days. Two turkeys are in the oven, our tenants Tamara and Chris are away for the day so we can use there oven, and the ham on the BBQ. Linda is making Clootie Dumpling and I/m so excited about it. I haven't had it since I was a kid.
      I guess what I'm trying to say is try to keep things in perspective. Cherish the moments and let all the people you love know that you love them. Share with them the gift of time. It's the only thing of value any of us have.
Peace Out and Merry Christmas from the Lovely Lisa and your ever lovin Squatch