Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Clootie Pudding and Christmas Chaos..... Yay

December 25th 2017

Chritmas Dinner 2017

      Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Quansa/Solstice/Eid al-Fitr or whatever made up holiday floats your boat. I, like a growing number of people in the western world are largely taking the Christ out of Christmas. It has morphed into a secular event centered on guilt and consumer consumption or over consumption as it turns out. Guilt over the 60 hours a week that you work  so your loved ones can be decked out with the latest of everything to compensate for all the growing up you've missed. 
      Now that I have you all cheered up. I had a great Christmas. I was up at 8:30 and pleased to find no presents for me under the tree. This was shaping up to be a fabulous day. I couldn't find the coffee maker. The lovely Lisa has been prepping for two days already. Cranberry sauce and pickled beets made from scratch Casa Lisa sausage stuffing ready to meet the breadcrumbs and then the turkeys butt hole yum yum! Numerous root vegetables, Carrots, rutabaga, turnips, parsnips, sweet potato and squash, blanched and ready to be finished in the oven. So I made a cup of instant Jo and sat down to watch the year in review on TSN until the lovely Lisa gets out of bed. The lovely Lisa made a pot of coffee when she got up at 10. I gave her the card filled with sappy sentiments and stuffed full of scratch and sniffs. I call them that because you scratch them then you sniff back tears as the government confirms you're a loser! Ho Ho Ho
        Eleven o'clock rolled around and with it the chaos began. Jen and Christian and Fiona and Matt, formerly Mark, I only met him at Jen's wedding in August and I've been calling him Mark ever since. Anyway they showed up with the kids, Bella, Christo and Anna still in their pajamas. It was great watching them open their gifts. I had no idea what they were getting since I haven't bought a gift since 2005. They seemed suitably pleased and then they went to watch a show while Christian and Matt helped me put the living room onto the front deck and the banquet tables into the living room. We can seat 24 people in the living?Banquet room. We are expecting 30 people. I would suggest you grab a seat when the music stops or you'll be eating on your feet!
      Once I had all the furniture moved I sent them on their way. They were hung over pretty good. Matt and Fiona are visiting from Ontario so the party never stops30 minutes. I remember those days well. Making French Toast in the Murray's kitchen half lit before the first basketball game started! Rum and eggnog for breakfast then Bloody Mary's till the football game starts then onto the beer! 

      No you're not seeing double. Chef Boy R Lisa's recurring nightmare is running out of food. Never gonna happen! Two ovens full of turkey and a 15 pound ham on the BBQ. The lovely Lisa was up and down the stairs like a basting Banshee "SQUAAAAATCH! Get down here and help me flip this bird!" came the melodic warble of my beloved wife! "I'll flip you the bird from here." I said quietly under my breath. Chef Boy R Lisa cooks her turkey breast down for the first 30 minutes then she, with my assistance, flips the screaming hot bird onto it's back while I hold the even hotter roasting pan in position hoping to avoid a recurrence of the 2011 turkey fat scalding episode. The aroma starts to fill the house. Like Pavlov's dog my bell is rung! I start to salivate as the sausage stuffing joins the cornucopia of olfactory delights permeating my existence. My nasal induced reverie was shattered by the "request" that I start peeling potatoes. That's my job on these occasions when Willy and Annie are not with us. 20 pounds and two hours later I was Mr Potato head No, I was King Potato head!! I had enough potatoes to feed all of PEI!

      My brother in law Peter showed up 4 hours early. I feel bad for him because there was no one else here. Mind you Peter is socially awkward so a crowd doesn't really help. The lovely Lisa and I were very busy so he was left to his own devices.About 4 o'clock the gang started to arrive and with them came even more food. Mark and Lea brought multiple deserts Mark and Sherry brought fresh fruit and their lovely daughter Emily. Everybody brought something to the point that we had no room to put the food let alone the people. The level of noise increased expotentially when the Horde from Maple Ridge arrived. Then Michele and Ronin and Gord and Sharrie got here just as the birds were coming out of the oven. No sooner were the birds out than the root veggies went in. Already blanched they took only 15 minutes to reach perfection.
      Sherry, our sister in law and also a chef carved the turkey and the ham. The parents came and loaded the kids plates and Bro Steve put together a plate for Mama Lee. After that it was Aussie rules buffet! People were bobbing and weaving all over the place. Plates loaded with all the best stuff. The lovely Lisa made a salad. I call it the lonely salad. when you have ten veggies, ham, turkey mashed potatoes and gravy salad just doesn`t make the top ten! 

      For me the coup detat was the Clootie Pudding. An exotic mix of dried currants, raisins, molasses and beef suet boiled for hours in a pillow case and served warm with Birds Custard. Linda Gregg and her husband Dougie, pronounced Doogy in the true Scottish tradition, made it from her Mammies Recipe. I have to admit I squirreled it away putting only a wee bit out for the gang and I didn`t make the custard until boxing day...it was fabulous!
Clootie Dumpling and custard

      After dinner we took down one of the tables and with 4 guitars, a mandolin and a set of Bongoes we formed a song circle and played till about 11 o`clock. Bill taylor, Mark and Lea Sheldon, Dougie and Linda Gregg, Bro Steve and Mark Geraghty all contributed their incredible talents to our little song circle.

      I especially want to give Kudos to the lovely Lisa, the best hostess the world has ever seen. Also to Sherry Geraghty for all her help in the kitchen and to our friend Paul who did the dishes. Gord and Sharrie for being with us and Gordon Duffy for being the Johnny on the spot, jumping in whenever needed. I also want to thank Matt, Christian and Adam for drinking all the beer and eating their dinner standing up!
      I hope your Christmas was as good as mine. I hope you were able to see through all the stuff and touch each other where it counts. Not there Ya Dirty Bastards! I`m talking about inside, about bonding with the people in your life in the spirit of peace and love.

That`s all I`ve got 
Till next time 
Peace Out Yàll
      .

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