Las Vegas: Lady Luck is a Bitch!

July 10, 2015

      It's been a while since I've sat at the keyboard and put my metaphorical pen to the metaphorical paper. My attempts at using the voice to text controls on my phone have been at best, met with mixed results. I end up having to rewrite most of it. It doesn't start out that way. I say to myself I'm just going to put in the punctuation and correct the spelling. 3 hours and 10 paragraphs later!

      When last we talked the lovely Lisa and I were still in Las Vegas. The lovely Lisa is the gambler in the family. While she played another poker tournament, this one at the Flamingo.

I people watched and read my book, Clive Cussler, they're like Harlequin Romances for guys. Lots of dead bad guys, clever quips and the hero always nails the beautiful sister of the head bad guy! Now that's entertainment. The lovely Lisa was concerned I was getting bored watching her play the Slots or Blackjack or Poker I finally convinced her I was quite happy sitting with the other sports junkies in the exceedingly comfortable chairs in the Casino Sports book. Everyone's an expert! I didn't see any of the experts cash a ticket!

       I'll come back to the Flamingo Poker Tournament later. We spent most of the day at the pool.

Reading my book

And trying to get a video of going through the Shark tank at the Golden Nugget. 

Twice I put my thumb on the lens. 

The lovely Lisa, Mermaid got one sans thumb but there wasn't much in it. It was 119 degrees and the pool was a lifesaver. 

      We left the pool and headed down to the strip in our half/car. That's what you get for $14 per day. We try to take a different route to the Strip every time we leave the Golden Nugget. It didn't matter which road we took there was a dominant theme. Wedding Chapels and Bail bonds. Sometimes right beside each other.

I never knew Joan Collins married Michael Jordan

And of course you can be married by Elvis

You don't want to jump bail!

Also spelling lessons

One stop shopping

Free Pickup and Delivery

My favourite was Dad's Bail Bonds. Their slogan was
" If you been bad, Just call Dad" Never could find it again.
We headed down to the Far end of the Strip and cruised through the Luxor

Excalibur

and New York New York

I always like to go to Circus Circus when we are in Vegas

so we stopped to see a Girl twirl 12 hoola hoops at once!

Then, the lovely Lisa played the slots until the trapeze show started.

The lovely Lisa has a Slot Playing Plan today. Play the slots near the places where people gather. Doors, reception areas, places where people can see people winning. Double your money and cash out. This method must have cut her losses in half! Lady Luck is a Bitch and maybe a lesbian!
Back at the Flamingo the lovely Lisa, Poker Star made the final table again, and again was knocked out just outside of the money. Her timing was perfect! We crossed the street by a series of overhead walkways that provided great views of that part of the strip.

We were just in time for the Fountain show at the Bellagio.

We Spent the next couple of hours people watching on that part of the strip. The lovely Lisa played some slots and I was looking for ice cream. Here are some of our favourite pics from Vegas.

The Sex!

Counting the dough!

The Grand Canyon!!

The Neon

Howdy Pardner, just leave your money here!

Just a year late

The Sights

Eye of Las Vegas at sunset.

Pawn Stars. I said I wanted a ring for my wife, they said they don't take wives!

Shark Tank at the Golden Nugget

Who looks stiffer?

Fountain time

And of course, best of all. Being there with the lovely Lisa, the woman I love.

The picture of love...just before she threatened to shove the camera up my ass! Sheesh!!

That's all I've got

Till next time 

Peace out Y'all

P.S. Squatchapalisa XIII will be happening on August 8th and our theme is Remember the 80's. For most of you that's at the newer end of the closet!! As usual large chunks of meat will be spitted and slow roasted. Bring a chair if you can. Booze if you want and a side dish. Kids and well socialized dogs friendly until dark. Then all bets are off!! PA provided and always lots of live music. If you need more info message me and I will get back to you. Hope to see you here.

Vegas baby!!!!

June 23, 2015

      Our plan was when the plane landed in Las Vegas at 930 in the evening we would have time to get a little bite to eat. Things didn't quite work out the way we had planned. When we got to the Hertz rental car counter they didn't have any cars. It was 11 o'clock before we got our car. By the time we got to the Golden Nugget it was 1230 and we were starving. I have to tell you about our day leading up to that.
      First we met up with Bro Steve and Lyndsey at Tentatsu for sushi at 11:30.

As always it was delicious. After lunch we went to Kensington Park to play a round of golf. It was quite busy and we never got to finish our round. And in a strange and twisted show of karmatic energy we only got in 13 holes.

That seems somehow appropriate since it was our 13th wedding anniversary. We took it as a sign.

By the time we got home and packed for our trip Christian was waiting to drive us to the airport. Between the lovely Lisa and I dilly dallying and traffic on the way to the airport it was 5 15 by the time we got there. Our flight to Vegas was at 630. This is where it gets a little bit weird. When the lovely Lisa had booked our flights we weren't sitting together. However the flight wasn't sold out so we asked if there was a chance we could move together. The aircraft attendant, because you're not allowed to call them stewardesses anymore, told us there was only one open row but we were welcome to it. Believe it or not it was row 13! That's settled if we knew what we were going to do. First thing we did was put $10 on number 13 at the roulette table. The fastest $10 I've ever lost in my life. So much for signs from above. I crawled into bed with my wife of 13 years $10 lighter but unbelievably happy. I realize I won the lottery 13 years ago and nothing can ever take that away from me.
      Morning comes early in Las Vegas. I've taken to traveling with a jar of instant coffee. Partly because I really like instant coffee and partly because I'm a cheap bastard. All the rooms now of those one cup at a time coffee makers. I had to run it through twice just to get one cup of coffee. I was on my third cup by the time Lisa got up. We went across the street to Binions and had their breakfast special. We retrieved our tiny rental car from the valet parking at the Golden Nugget and headed down to Caesars Palace. Its my favorite casino in Las Vegas.

Not so favorite that I would pay the premium you need to stay there but still we go there every time you come to Vegas. I never get tired of the moving statues and the incredible ceiling. I watch the lovely Lisa play some slots. Before you knew it it was after 4 o'clock and we were planning on playing in a poker tournament at the Luxor at 830 and I still hadn't ridden the water slide through the shark tank at the Golden Nugget. Video to follow! The pool at the Golden Nugget is my favorite in all of Las Vegas. But first how could we come to Las Vegas and not go to the world famous Gold and Silver Pawn Shop. When we went by in the morning there was a huge line up. The place was very busy in the afternoon but we didn't have to wait in line to get in. It's not as big as it looks on TV but they do have a lot of stuff there.
      By the time we got back to the room we were scrambling to get to the Luxor in time for dinner and tournament. We bought our tickets to the tournament and not left us less than an hour to have something to eat. They make a pretty good half pound burger at the Luxor.
      Time to play poker!! I never got a hand. I was patient and it finally paid off. I was dealt an Ace, 10 and I flopped an Ace,ten. I bet, everyone folded but one guy. A jack came on the river. His ace, Jack beat me. Fricken River Rat. Three hands later I also lost on the river which is why I'm sitting here in the sports book at the Luxor while the lovely Lisa defends the family poker honour. The lovely Lisa is still battling but is now a short stack. Should be back on Fremont Street shortly.
      We are having a great time as we always do when we come to Las Vegas.
      I'm actually writing this blog on my phone. I can only see about six words at a time. Also I don't know if I can put any pictures in. I probably can except I don't know how. If this works out I may continue writing my blog this way. It seems to be a lot less frustrating than me typing. That's unless it comes out looking like crap. Then perhaps I will be typing again. But for today. Now then I'm going to post this I know that the pictures are all screwed up a lot harder to do with the phone than I had imagined. So it is what it is!
That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all
   

Squatch and Lisa's excellent adventure

June 16, 2015

Bridgewater backyard

      Today is the last day of this years summer trip. Tomorrow we are on a Delta flight home via Minneapolis. Auntie Janice is taking us down to Philadelphia for our 2:40 pm departure. It's about an hour from Bridgewater. We saw family and friends that we see only once a year. Visited New York City and the Jersey Shore and in general had an excellent adventure.
      We have a tradition when we visit places and stay with family or friends. On our last full day the lovely Lisa makes Paella. If you've never had it it's a rice dish full of seafood, chicken, chorizo and seasoned with saffron. But first there's shopping to do. 

Gone Shopping

      Auntie Janice was kind enough to be our chauffeur for the day taking us to three different markets looking for the necessary ingredients. First stop was Aqui, it's a Mexican supermarket not too far from the house. There we bought the chorizo sausage, Skinless chicken thighs, lemons and limes, peppers, onions Valencia rice and most importantly the Saffron for the Paella. They have a full butcher shop and sell chicarrone fresco. That's pork rind done in sheets instead of little chips, Muey delisioso. I'm going to try to bring it on the plane in my carry on luggage. The lovely Lisa didn't like the way they presented their seafood so we were off to Costco!
      Costco the best store in the world if you want too much of everything! Or a giant hotdog for $1.50. I wanted one but the lovely Lisa and Auntie Janice reminded me that we were going to a Jersey Diner for lunch in an hour. Costco had no fresh seafood so we bought nothing. I did however eat tiny samples of hemp seed and pomegranate juice. Auntie Janice had a short list of things and she purchased that while I stared longingly at the 10 foot hot dog billboard above the cafeteria. 
      Our next stop was Wegmans. An upscale grocery store across town. We bought 2 pounds of Mussels and 2 pounds of Scallops. Auntie Janice already had some prawns in the freezer, 8 -10. That means the number of prawns to the pound. I've seen porn stars with smaller appendages! 
       We stopped off at the house with the seafood, it was 90 degrees again and the seafood wouldn't do well in the trunk. Groceries put away we headed out for lunch. We were going out to the Colonial Diner about 15 miles from Bridgewater so we could stop in and see Kathy after lunch. Kathy had knee replacement surgery last week and we wanted to see her before we left. As Jersey Diners go this one had a limited menu. They only sold maybe 100 different things! Some of the diners have 10 page menus! I couldn't help myself. Nor did I want to. They had my favourite sandwich ever and I'm on vacation. The Monte Christo Sandwich! The king of sandwiches! 

Monte Christo

Okay, the Count of sandwiches. For those of you who have trouble reading the directions on a shampoo bottle, that's a classic tale written by Alexander Dumas. Auntie Janice had an Omelet and the lovely Lisa chowed down on Potato Pancakes and Buffalo Wings. 

Potato Pancakes

I didn't even know Buffaloes could fly! I know that one was muey lamo!!
      After lunch it was off to see Kathy. Kathy is a long time friend of the Decker family and was part of our group that went on the Alaska cruise last year. We saw her when we first got here and she had knee replacement surgery while we were up in Montague. What a recovery she is making! She is mobile and mostly pain free. She lives in a quiet neighbourhood in a town called East Brunswick and she has a very nice swimming pool in her yard. 

Wishing I'd brought my Speedo

"I think we'll stay with you next year" I told her. She said that would be great. I think she thinks I was kidding! I am at heart, a water baby. She has several bird feeders and a peanut dispenser for the squirrels who come up and scratch at her window when it's empty. 

Bluejay at Kathy's

As 3:00 rolled around we said our farewells and took off to avoid rush hour. Which as in most places in the East turns the 20 minute drive into a ninety minute drive. Here's a fun fact. Central New Jersey has the population of the province of Ontario in one tenth of the area! And they all come home at the same time! 
      Back at the house Auntie Janice was in her office catching up on the work she wasn't doing while she drove us around and the lovely Lisa had a power nap on the couch before starting dinner. I went out in the back yard, they have a half acre property, and sat under the Mulberry tree. I never saw a monkey or a weasel!

Monkey/weasel free Mulberry Bush

 I did however see raindrops and actual Mullberries being dropped on me by the dozens of birds eating the berries. I went around the back of their garage were they have yet another garden and found a Robin caught up in the netting that was there to protect the Brussel sprout plants. The Robin was freaking out! I ran into the house to wake up the lovely Lisa to video me saving the Robin. By the time we got back, protected by Uncle Charlies gardening gloves, it had managed to free itself. Stupid bird! It started to rain a little harder which was good because the humidity was at 85% and we were hoping to eat on the front porch.
      The lovely Lisa started prepping the Paella and I watched the news and waited for my turn in the kitchen to make a Squatch salad. 

Chef Boy R Lisa on the Paella trail

There was no rush as Uncle Charlie doesn't get home until 7:00. With the Paella well on it's way and the Squatch Salad made I put together an avocado dressing for the salad and kicked back. The rain had reduced the humidity quite a bit and it was comfortable on the porch now though it was still 82 degrees. When Uncle Charlie got home and saw that Chef Boy R Lisa was in full catering mode and had made Paella for 20 he called Professor Dave and his wife Dani and invited them for dinner. Dave is a University Professor and Dani is a High School teacher. Dani was picking Dave up at the train station on his return from meetings at Yale University in Connecticut.

Paella

 We held dinner for 30 minutes and they arrived just as we were putting the food on the table. 

Dani and Professor Dave

We had as always interesting conversation and caught up on the doings of their grown children who were also on the cruise last year. They had to eat and run as Professor Dave is off to California in the morning.
      The Paella was as always, fabulous. Everyone had seconds and there was still enough for Cousin Laura to eat when she got home from NYC at 10:30. She was kind enough to pick up some things that we forgot to buy when we were in the city last week. She teaches fencing in Manhattan and is considering a full time position she has been offered. I think I told you that she has travelled the world competing and refereeing. She is going to be the U.S. Referee at the Pan Am games this summer in Toronto. 
      I watched Golden State beat LeBron and the Cleveland Cavaliers for the NBA championship, Yay, not a LeBron fan. Then called it a night.

That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all